Angels Without Wings
by IssaLee
Summary: When the guilt gets to be too much, how does Usagi get forgiven? A four-part fic. -COMPLETE-
1. Bless Me, Father

Ok, I really needed a break from typing up all the other chapters, and I was feeling in the mood for angst, so here it is!

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon.

**July 14th:**

Slim fingers trailed in the water.

The ripples they caused seemed more erratic then usual, and one wouldn't have notice unless they were looking closely that it was because the fingers were circling slightly.

* * *

"_Are you truly sorry for what you have done?"_

* * *

The fingers stopped, and one of them twitched violently. A drop of water flew up into the air, landing on the girl's outstretched arm. She shivered again, and more water flew.

* * *

"_Do you truly wish to be forgiven?"_

* * *

A girl of about fifteen stood and shook the water off her hand. Her golden blonde hair swayed behind her, and she sat back down. She was not sure where she could go now.

* * *

"_I have nothing to be sorry for. Nothing at all. Why should I feel sorry? I did it for others, and for those who knew nothing of pain."_

"_Do you feel pain?"_

"…_All the time."_

* * *

The girl found herself letting her fingers skim across the water's surface again. A thoughtful look crossed her face, and she gently lowered her whole hand into the lake. Her arm followed it soon after. She lay there, on her stomach, one arm fully in the water.

* * *

"_Do you ever wish to stop this?"_

"_Every day."_

"_And you don't stop because?"_

"_It wouldn't be right. You wouldn't understand. I wouldn't expect you to."_

"_I understand many things. Try me."_

* * *

The girl suddenly kicked off both of her shoes, and turned around, pulling her arm away. She let both feet dangle off the dock and into the flooded lake. Her white blouse and shorts made her look like a normal person relaxing in the sun, but there was more to her than that.

* * *

"_It hurts, when I finish it. I feel like I'm doing something right, and good for the world, but when I sleep, all I feel is guilt."_

* * *

No one saw her as she lowered herself fully into the water, submerging her head for a long, long time.

* * *

"_What do you think you could do to stop it?"_

"_I could die."_

"_Pardon?"_

"_There are many ways to do it. I could use a weapon, or I could make it look like an accident, or like someone else did it. Or I could disappear."_

"_I don't understand…"_

"_I didn't think you would. You think me crazy, for considering this. But life is not perfect for me."_

"_Life if perfect for no one."_

"_You would think so. But no one else must do what I do."_

"_Didn't you say there were others?"_

"_They do not do the whole job. They are witnesses, and witnesses only."_

* * *

The girl suddenly came up for air, but did not suck it in greedily. Instead she forced herself to breathe normally. She climbed back onto the dock, and picked at her blouse, plastered against her skin. 

"Thank the Gods for sports bras." She mumbled. She shook her hair out, and a light shower fell onto the wood next to her.

* * *

"_How do you live with it, then?"_

"_I don't pray, you know. I don't believe in God."_

"_May I ask why?"_

"_I have died several times, and each time, I have brought myself back. God had nothing to do with it."_

* * *

She picked up her white flip-flops and carried them in her hands as she walked across the grass. She could see them ahead of her now. They saw her too, and waved. 

"Usagi-chan! Over here!"

She was suddenly crushed in a hug that ended quickly as Minako drew back.

"Wow! How'd you get so wet, Usagi-chan?" She put her shoes down and stepped into them, wringing out her hair.

"I walked into a sprinkler. Same old me, ne?" The girls surrounding her laughed, but only a grim smile swept across her features. When had it become so easy to lie to them?

"Usagi-chan, you wanna got to the park?" She shook her head. She had just been there.

"Nah. Let's go to the arcade instead, ok?" They agreed with her, and began walking. A scream interrupted them, and they all glanced at each other. In a moment they had henshined and were running to the park, where she had been before.

The youma was decidedly normal looking, despite the huge red tail and furry ears and green skin. The senshi made short work of it, and de-transformed.

"Let's go to the arcade now, ok?" Makoto let her hands rise lazily in the air.

* * *

"_If you don't believe in God, why do you insist on coming here?"_

"_It is a solace. It is the only place where I can feel some sort of happiness, and have some of this burden lifted from my shoulders. Here, I am forgiven."_

* * *

"Sorry guys, I just realized I have to get something for my mom. I'll meet you there, ok?" She lied again, with a straight face. Rei nodded. 

"Ok, Odango, but don't be late!" They wandered off, and she started running.

She sprinted away from them, the arcade, her home, and the park. She sprinted away from him, especially.

* * *

"_I wonder why he still loves me."_

"_Obviously, my child, he finds you to be wonderful."_

"_He calls me an angel. Angels aren't merciless."_

* * *

She pushed open the heavy wooden doors, and ignored the sense of ambiguity as she entered the small room in the back. 

"You're here."

"As always." Long ago, she had learned to still her voice when she was here. She had learned to ignore the pain she felt.

"You'll always be coming back, then?"

"Let's just start, ok?"

"As you wish. You know the routine." The young man settled back in his chair as Usagi began to recite what she now knew by heart.

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been a day since my last confession…" Her words echoed in the empty church.

When she left, the young priest sighed and watched the gold streamers she called hair bounce down the street.

She pulled at her bangs, and blew them back. There was the sense of joy she always felt, for about a moment after. But now there was something she had to do…

After immersing herself in the water again, she sat down on the dock and pulled her knees in close.

* * *

"_You said you have been baptized? Yet you are not Catholic."_

"_I wash my sins away. You saying you've forgiven me isn't enough."_

**

* * *

July 15th:**

Her communicator began to beep abruptly, and tears threatened to fall from her eyes.

"What's up?"

"Hey, youma in the park! Can you make it?"

"Be there in a second, V-Babe." She pushed the off button, and sighed. "Some angel I am."

She felt the rush of adrenaline in her veins, and pounced out the window. Angels could lose their wings, after all.

What do you think?


	2. Mad World

Originally, I thought I'd make this a one shot, but now it will be a four-part fic! And only four parts… Thank you to all reviewers! And don't worry if I skip around the timeline a bit. You won't be the only one confused…

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon.

_Live is hard for those who must live perfect ones._

Neo-Queen Serenity sighed as she slid into the couch next to her bed. How true those words were. Whispered to her by a decrepit old man before he died, and they were the most influential words she had heard in her entire life.

Considering the fact that she was five thousand years old (give or take a few hundred years) this was a very big deal.

On a table in front of her was a champagne bottle, and next to it, a glass half filled with the sparkling substance. She glanced back and forth between the two, and grimaced.

She had nowhere to be, and nothing to do. Despite the fact that she was Queen of Crystal Tokyo, her duties were not much. In fact, her dearest King accomplished most of the work.

But he had changed, as had her senshi. No longer were they teenagers unburdened by grim work details. Now, they were Royal Doctors of the First Degree, Matchmaker Royale (Minako just wouldn't leave it alone, she wanted the title so badly along with her title as Second-In-Command.), Official Spiritual Advisor, Royal Martial Arts Sensei, Royal Music Instructor, Royal Sword Training Instructor… The list went on and on. She wasn't afraid to admit that halfway along; she had started making up the titles.

King Endymion now spent less and less time at home. It had started a few months ago. Now he was barely there, only to receive important guests or to discuss business with the senshi.

Serenity sighed once more and picked at a golden thread. Chibiusa was doing fine. The girl was strong, in a way she had never imagined. Time apart from her father had somehow made her closer to him. She never understood why her mother didn't seem to miss him.

But she did miss him. The Neo-Queen missed the Neo-King much more than anyone could understand. But she didn't show it. If he chose not to return someday, she wouldn't show she was upset. Because every time he whispered sweet nothings to her, her stomach twisted uncomfortably. Every time he would hold her hand, it itched as if it were covered in ants. One emotion wormed its way past all the others, tearing at every thread of her being.

Guilt.

The overwhelming guilt, that she felt she did not deserve him. He had married a murderer, helped to crown her Queen over the Earth, and had thus brought her entire meaning of existence crumbling to it's knees.

Murderer…no one called her so, and yet she felt she saw it in their eyes. She had killed, to gain this power. Her child was born in a land vehemently brought down, and made to worship her as they would a goddess.

_"Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been a day since my last confession…"_

She winced, alone in her room at the memory. The priest had been kind, and never asked questions. Well…there had been some. The first time she had come.

* * *

"_Proceed, my child."_

"_Father, I have killed. I have killed several times, and I know I will do it several times more. Each time I do it, no one cares or notices. I get only praise for that which I have done."_

_The silence behind the screen was deafening, and she was about to check if he had fainted when he answered her._

"_Are you telling me the truth?"_

"_Yes, Father."_

"…_It is a bit—hard—for me to understand this. How is it that you have killed so much and yet you can speak of it so steadily? You are young—how old?"_

"_Fourteen, Father."_

"_Fourteen years is hardly an appropriate age to do such things…"_

"_I am sorry to interrupt Father, but I did not ask for lectures. I came for penance. Will you give me that, so that I may be forgiven?"_

"_My child…turn yourself into the police, or stop the killings immediately."_

"_No! Father, I cannot. To do so would mean the death of hundreds, thousands, all those care for!"_

"_I can't say anything else."_

"_But…is there no other way?"_

"_Unless you should bring all those you had killed back to life, then no."_

"_But they are evil! They would kill much more than I have or ever will!"_

"_Then cleanse them. For now, say the rosary twice a day and do not sin in any other way."_

"…_To cleanse them…is it so impossible that you would order me to do it, Father?"_

"_I believe you to have great prowess, my child. I do not doubt that you shall try. You are absolved of your sins, but now, only momentarily."_

"_Is that possible, Father?"_

_He laughed. "If a fourteen year old can kill hundreds, then I believe if she searches for it, redemption will be found."_

* * *

He had died, on a cold August morning, in the year 3024. He had lived so long only because he was caught and frozen in the period before Crystal Tokyo came into being. The Neo-Queen had gone to his funereal, and only there had she realized she had never known his name. 

There were a few mourners there. Some nuns and a few parishioners. No family to speak of. Serenity was angry; violently angry, in fact. The world would live and die again before she would forget this man, who had helped her so well in the past.

The tombstone read simply, "Michael Thomas Smith, Beloved priest and friend to all." She had almost thrown up. Such a normal name; such a normal life, until she had stumbled into it.

The pain stabbed at her again. She did that a lot. Stumbling into people's lives, taking away their freedom so she could be happy… The senshi and Mamorou were perfect, living examples. Who knows what they could have achieved had they not been held back by her damned future and past, written in stone for all eternity?

"Past and future is not always etched firmly in the rock, Highness."

The Neo-Queen did not look up from the thread she was still picking at. "What are you getting at, Pluto?"

The Guardian of Time stepped out from behind the bed, where she had been quietly observing her Queen. "We've had this conversation before, Usagi. You may change several things in the timeline, but you risk injuring your future, and your daughter's."

"I really don't want to hear this right now."

Pluto rolled her eyes, and in a rare show of emotion, flopped down on the couch and drank the contents of the glass. "You give me such a headache sometimes."

Serenity regarded her curiously. "Can you say that to me without being beheaded?" the two burst into laughter. Pluto soon resumed her stoic expression.

"See? This is what you need. Something unexpected to happen! I have done so, and it hasn't affected the timeline in the least."

"But I thought you sad—,"

"I have said many things." Pluto interrupted gently. "But it doesn't always mean I'm right. I must return to the time gates now, Usagi."

The Neo-Queen resumed spending time with her thread. "You know you're the only one who calls me Usagi now, right? They all call me Serenity, or Neo-Queen."

Pluto shrugged. "Names do not make a person." And she vanished.

Serenity wrinkled her nose. The thread had snapped. Without a word she sat up, and in one fluid motion, had filled the glass about a quarter full. Once more she contemplated the glass and bottle.

"Something unexpected…"

* * *

Hours later, Sailor Mars decided to check in on her Queen. What she found was a snoring Serenity on the couch, one bottle of champagne clutched tightly in her hand. On the table was a glass, filled with a bit of the drink. 

It seems it's a mad world after all.

* * *

I put a drunk scene in there, with Neo-Queen Serenity basically acting like she had nothing better to do then flash her kingdom, but a friend of mine made me take it out. Blast you, Nikki-chan! Ah well…two more parts after this, minna. I'm gonna go work on Wish Upon A Goddess so I don't get killed.


	3. A Child At Heart

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon; never have, never will. 

"_Can you find the star, Serenity?"_

"_I can't see it Mama! It's nowhere! It's gone!"_

"_Shh, hush now. Look closely, and be patient. An answer will always be found if you wait. Wait a moment…now do you see it?"_

"_Yes, mama! It's right there, by the Earth!"_

"_A beautiful planet, and yet so steeped in it's sins…"_

"_What does that mean, Mama?"_

"_Some people do bad things to save the ones they love. Pray that you never have to, Serenity. Now come on, I heard the Mercurians have invented a new breed of plant that blooms right before your eyes!"_

"_Let's go, Mama! I wanna see it!"_

"_Such innocence…let us go, then."_

* * *

"Tsukino-san, if I have to call your name again, you will receive another detention!" 

Usagi blinked and looked up from her memory. "Huh?"

Haruna-sensei snorted. "Tsukino-san, you've been asleep for the whole class period, and have finished none of your work! You have already received a detention, but as I have other…priorities to attend to, you will attend it tomorrow. Class is dismissed!"

Usagi got up with the other members of her class, and found herself to be feeling strangely emotionless after the rather embarrassing display.

"Usagi! Usagi!"

She turned, half expecting to see Makoto or Minako, crying about some new exchange student. Instead, Naru shyly stepped up to her and handed her a piece of paper.

"It's the homework for today, Usagi. I didn't want you to forget it and not be able to do it."

Usagi took the paper, and eyed Naru warily. "Why not Usagi-chan, Naru-chan?"

Naru blushed visibly. "Well…it's been a while, and I wasn't…"

"Forget it." Usagi gave her a quick hug. "We'll always be friends, Naru, always, no matter what happens. But why should you care about the homework and me? I just won't do it, or I will and I'll fail."

"Don't say that!" Naru's voice rang out, startling them both. "It's not right, Usagi! You're smart, everyone should know that! But you hide behind this curtain—this mask—and you think no one can see you. But we all do, Usagi. We all do."

Usagi stared for a moment. Her eyes grew wide, and a single tear fell, creating a salty trail down her now pale face.

"It was supposed to be a secret…" she smiled sadly at Naru, who said nothing. The Odango-ed blonde quickly spun around, walking down the hallway as if nothing had ever happened.

As if, in that single moment, all of her walls hadn't come crashing down.

* * *

"All around me are familiar faces…" Usagi sang softly, pushing at the sand in front of her with her toe. She let the swing she was sitting on go back a little, before going forward and making more lines in the sand. A pair of headphones was nestled snugly on her head, as she sang a song that had been imprinted in her heart long ago. 

_All around me are familiar faces _

_Worn out places_

_Worn out faces_

_Bright and early for their daily races_

_Going nowhere_

_Going nowhere_

_Their tears are filling up their glasses_

_No expression_

_No expression_

_Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow_

_No tomorrow_

_No tomorrow_

_And I find it kind of funny_

_I find it kind of sad_

_The dreams in which I'm dying_

_Are the best I've ever had_

_I find it hard to tell you_

_'Cause I find it hard to take_

_When people run in circles_

_It's a very very_

_Mad world_

_Mad world_

_Children waiting for the day they feel good_

_Happy birthday_

_Happy birthday_

_Made to feel the way that every child should_

_Sit and listen_

_Sit and listen_

_Went to school and I was very nervous_

_No one knew me_

_No one knew me_

_Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson_

_Look right through me_

_Look right through me_

_And I find it kind of funny_

_I find it kind of sad_

_The dreams in which I'm dying_

_Are the best I've ever had_

_I find it hard to tell you_

_I find it hard to take_

_When people run in circles_

_It's a very very_

_Mad world_

_Mad world_

_Enlarged in your world_

_Mad world_

"Singing your sorrows away, Odango?" She stiffened. Not now…she couldn't face him now…

"Look at me, Usako." She did so, and she was shocked to see the worry evident in his eyes.

"What is wrong with you?" He leaned closer, so that their noses were barely touching. To her surprise, he gently pried the CD player from her hands and opened it.

"Tears for Fears? Mad World?" He read the titles aloud, no doubt thinking them some sort of teenage rock band with no pitch, but when he removed the headphones from her head and fit them on his own, his smile slowly faded.

Usagi scuffed the sand again as the song finished, and he stared at her in disbelief. When he didn't say anything, she spoke first.

"What is it that surprises you about that song?" She didn't expect him to answer, but he did anyways.

"'I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.'" He made a sound that sounded curiously like he was trying not to cry. "Do you remember, when you said that your dreams were to grow up and marry me? You said those were the nights when you felt like never waking up. Were you lying, Usako?"

She looked away. "I can't lie. It's not me; it's not Usagi."

He couldn't say anything as in the next moment a loud cry startled them. They both looked up in time to see a bright flash of light.

"We'll finish this later."

She looked back at him, and was hurt. Couldn't he tell, if he really loved her, that she didn't want to finish it? But she henshined and he followed soon after.

They arrived to find a youma terrorizing a group of people, some sort of club probably. Tuxedo Kamen immediately flew into action, and the senshi soon joined him. But Sailor Moon was frozen in place.

Behind the youma, she could see the lake. The setting sun reflecting off of it made it looked almost like it was filled with blood. Then she looked back at the youma and realized; she couldn't kill it.

"Sailor Moon! Dust it!" Mars was screaming at her. Moon shook her head.

"Can't…just can't…don't you see?" But they were all yelling at her, crying for her to kill it…to murder it in cold blood. She was too blinded by tears to realize what the youma was doing, and couldn't hear the warning cries.

The next thing she knew, she was under the water, going down. Something was dragging her deeper. With a start, she realized it was the youma. She could hear faint splashes, then nothing else.

What had startled her so, and made her unable to finish off the youma, was tha fact that it had been the exact replica of the one thing she couldn't harm.

A child.

* * *

"_Masks! You hide behind masks!"_

"_What's wrong with you?"_

"_An answer will always be found if you wait."_

"_Dust it, Sailor Moon!"_

"_Can't…just can't…"_

"_I'm sorry…I just wanted to stop…"_

"_Do you truly wish to be forgiven?"_

"_Bless me Father, for I have sinned…"_

"_You must cleanse all those that you have killed, after bringing them back to life."_

"_I can't…"_

"_Redemption…"_

Redemption… 

Usagi spluttered, and coughed up the water lodged in her throat. She leaned over, and gagged.

"I'm sorry."

She looked up, frightened, and saw the child youma staring at her. It had big, blue eyes and long black hair. It reached a hand up.

"I didn't mean to hurt you…"

Usagi hesitated, before taking the hand offered. The youma did nothing, but a smile lit its face, and fangs appeared.

"You're the one who can bring us all back! Will you help us?"

Usagi shook her head, and as she did so, realized she had somehow de-transformed. "Where are my—What happened?"

The youma-child grinned widely. "I took you with me, where I sit. This is my thinking spot…Beryl says I can't be here, and she said I wasn't supposed to go out of the palace, but they said it's ok…"

"They? Wait, where are we?" Usagi looked around, and found nothing but darkness. In front of them was a solitary mirror, tall and with ornate woodcarvings. Somehow, it seemed to radiate melancholia.

"My mommy and daddy died, and they're here now."

A pang of guilt forced its way into Usagi's mind, writhing and squirming until she thought she would fall over from the pain.

"How did they die?" She didn't want an answer. She didn't want the child to look at her with broad eyes and whisper:

"You killed them."

Somehow, she had expected it. She hadn't wanted it to happen, but she always knew there was a day when she'd have to face her sins. And here they were, in the form of a youma-child and a mirror. She was surrounded by darkness, one that matched her soul perfectly. She had never hated herself more.

"Mommy and Daddy will explain."

She didn't pause to wonder how they could do so if they were dead. In her grief filled state, she let the girl push the mirror to her, and she peered inside apathetically. What she saw startled her.

At first she saw herself, in many forms. As Sailor Moon, and as Usagi. Behind them she could see several others in formal dress, and although she didn't understand it, she grasped that they were her in some other time.

"Hi."

The images disappeared, and the furry youma she had fought before super-imposed them. She scrambled back, and the youma laughed.

"So, the mighty one who vanquished me is uneasy around me, the vanquished one?"

Usagi shook her head. "I'm sorry…I didn't know, and I just wanted to make it all better…"

"No matter." The youma said dismissively. "The girl you see behind you is my daughter. I am her mother. Her father was killed on the moon, as were all the other men. They died at the hands of your family and friends. We woman youma decided to avenge ourselves. Heh. Look at where it got us; stuck in a mirror or with Beryl. Not much of a choice."

"I'm sorry," Usagi began again, but the youma cut her off.

"Don't be. This is actually a helluva lot better. Beryl is a pain in the—sorry, I forgot Ileyana was here—butt."

"Ileyana," Usagi cogitated. "Is that her name?"

The youma nodded. "Mine was Liana, and her father's was Ardor."

"What do you mean, was?"

Liana sighed. "We were so happy, in the Silver Millennium. Then Beryl came, spouting lies about how the prince had been kidnapped. And we believed her! Ardor went off to fight in that stupid war, along with all the other men. He died in the last battle. I don't know how Beryl did it, but she had changed the men and she changed us, molding our memories so that we began to despise you. You're actually quite nice."

"Er…thank you?"

"Don't mention it." The youma smiled, baring fangs like Ileyana's. "We're all quite happy, that you've killed our earthen forms I mean. It means we have control over our bodies. Ileyana hasn't entered training to become a mindless droid yet, and I was hoping you could help us before that."

Usagi blushed. "Um, I really have no idea as to what I should be doing…"

Liana's laugh was loud and booming. "Of course you don't! I'm getting ahead of myself!" Then her face grew serious.

"You have the power to save us, and to bring us salvation. You can help us, and when the time comes, we will be freed, and reborn as you were."

"How?" Usagi was ecstatic. The very thing she had wanted to do! But her heart fell at Liana's next words.

"I don't know, really. That's up to you." Footsteps fell, and her brow furrowed. "That's a guard. Hurry now, Ileyana will take you back. Be careful!"

"Wait—," Usagi cried, but her world feel into darkness once more. The last thing she saw was Ileyana's face, looking fearful.

_

* * *

"Salvation…"_

"…_Cleanse them…"_

"_She's my daughter…"_

"_You can help us!"_

"_Mommy…Daddy…"_

_"Such innocence…"_

"Usagi!"

She came to, and found Minako shaking her worriedly.

"Oh, thank the Gods you're ok!" Minako pulled back, and now she found the others running after her. Mamorou fell to his knees.

"Usako, are you alright? If that youma touched you—,"

"Don't talk about Ileyana that way! She's just a child!" They stared at her in surprise as she stood up and swayed.

"Usagi-chan, are you alright?" Ami made as if to help her, but she pushed her away.

"We've killed innocents…I can't believe you." Without another word, she stumbled away, leaving her friends bewildered.

Ami rubbed at her arm. "Do you think they've turned her over to their side?"

Minako sighed. "I think it's her mind that's turning her. She seems so distant…so far away…maybe it would do us and her some good to leave her alone."

"Are you kidding?" Mamorou asked. "Leave her alone? She could be killed, and she'd be devastated!"

"I think some part of her died a long time ago, Mamorou-kun. It's up to her now to get it back." Rei murmured, and walked away.

Usagi had perplexed them indeed.


	4. Mirror's Reflection

Thank you to all reviewers. Sadly, this is the last chapter, because now I must work on my other fics. I hoped you like this! By the way, I realize Usa and Mamo weren't together when Beryl was around, but for my sake, let's pretend, ok?

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon.

Usagi's feet barely scraped the ground as she spun round and round. She closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of weightlessness. When she opened them again, several blurry faces rushed past her. She slowed to a stop, and found the senshi looking at her.

"Hi."

Her voice was not friendly, yet it wasn't cold either. They all nodded, and from the corner of her eye she could see Mamorou sitting on the stool next to hers. She sighed.

"Obviously, you want to know why I'm acting so weird." She could see the hope evident in their eyes, and felt slightly at fault for what she said next. "Well, I'm not going to tell you."

"Why not?" Rei pressed her face up against hers. The miko's eyes weren't blazing with fury; instead, they reflected only curiosity and worry.

"I have my reasons."

"But Usagi, we need you!" Mako pleaded with her. "What if another youma attacks? How are we going to kill it?"

Mako was startled when Usagi turned suddenly to face her, upset. "Don't kill it! Look at what you're saying! You want to murder it! I refuse to."

"What?" Ami looked at her incredulously. "If you do, Usagi, than Tokyo's citizens will be sucked of their energy, and Beryl will take over the world!"

The blonde looked down at her hands. "It's a lose-lose situation. I'd rather not bloody my hands in the end."

"What are you talking about?" Minako demanded. "How will you lose?"

Usagi ignored her, instead choosing to twist to face Mamorou. "You won't kill any either, will you, Mamo-chan? It's wrong! We're taking away their lives!"

Mamorou avoided her gaze. "What else can we do, Usako?"

She stood suddenly. The slap resonated clearly in the Crown. Mamorou let a hand go up to his cheek, as the senshi and occupants of the arcade followed Usagi's movements.

"You just don't understand," she hissed. "We are murderers. I am trying to fix this, and while you soil your hands and minds with these horrors, I will have none of it." She removed something from her pocket and flung it on the counter, where it bounced off onto the floor.

"Goodbye, Mamorou-san."

Mamorou did not move as she left, only staring at the item lying forlornly between his feet.

Her transformation brooch.

* * *

Usagi stumbled down the street, feeling strangely light headed without her brooch. She glanced back and forth, and seeing no one around, she began to run. 

She sprinted randomly across streets, and through back allies, until she collapsed. She didn't feel upset; simply as if she had done something…wrong.

"Why the long face, pretty one?"

She looked up and found herself face to face with a woman. The "woman" had green, scaly skin and flat eyes. A forked tongue slithered out from her lips.

Usagi gasped and scrambled backwards. Something flashed in the youma's eyes, and Usagi immediately stopped.

"We were people, once…" 

"I'm sorry." She looked at the youma directly. "I didn't mean to be afraid, you just…look different, is all. Do you want something?"

"Yeeesssssss," The youma hissed. "I want your energy!"

Usagi stifled a shriek as the youma lifted her bodily, and she felt herself growing weaker.

"You don't have to do this!" She gasped out. "You have a choice! You were people once!"

The youma narrowed her eyes. "No, you lie!"

"Please…" Usagi couldn't breathe now. The youma had long ago begun to choke her as well, and black spots appeared in her vision.

"Die, child!"

She felt herself falling, falling quickly. The youma had let go…but it was too late for her. She was dying…

* * *

Right, then left. 

She flung an arm out, and then moved to her right, and her left. In front of her, her mirror image moved along, wearing a white ball gown.

She twirled, then fell, and the image followed. She dropped her head, panting slightly, and when she lifted it, she was staring at Sailor Moon.

This was not her.

She wanted to know what she looked like. So she stood, and Sailor Moon did the same. She moved gracefully arching her back.

When she straightened, another woman, this one with deep blue eyes, and wearing a resplendent white and silver dress with wings followed her.

Still unsatisfied, she stood on one toe and spun around, holding onto her leg as she would if she were ice-skating.

When she slowed to a stop, there was no one. She stopped her dance and padded forward, waving a hand. No reflection, in tune with her, danced back to face her.

Had she erased herself completely?

"Hello again."

She turned, and found Liana smiling widely at her. She made as if to speak, but found her mouth clamped tightly.

Liana waved a hand. "It'll go away, I'm sure. But I'm proud of you!"

Usagi cocked her head to the side, but her unspoken question soon had an answer rolling off Liana's tongue.

"You've saved us, silly!"

Usagi stood, stock-still. She had done nothing. In fact, she had died. Liana's smile faded.

"Well, almost saved us. It seems you are unhappy in your many roles. You do not wish to fulfill those duties that make you who you are. The choice is yours; you may choose to stay Usagi, and just Usagi, or you may become everything you will ever know."

Liana began to fade, and Usagi reached out a hand, realizing for the first time she was surrounded completely by darkness.

Liana shook her head. "I can't stay. You must do what you choose to do, Usagi. You're a kind girl; I've no doubt you will know what to pick. Choose what you will!" And with a wave of her hands, claws intact, she was gone.

Usagi turned, and found the mirror again. Inside, she gazed at herself. There was Usagi. Big, blue eyes and long blonde hair. But something was missing.

Usagi began her dance again.

Right, then left.

Moving elegantly, almost as is she was floating, she raised one foot in the air and leaned back. Her head touched the ground, and she looked into the mirror.

Behind Mirror Usagi, she could see other figures, hazy, but there. They were trapped, trapped in her mind, and waiting to be freed.

She knew what she could do. She could stay here, and dance, with all the grace and happiness she had never known before.

Or she could go back, to a world grown with tears.

Slowly, she raised herself up, and began to spin. She knew what she would pick. Life was unfair, she knew that also. But to choose life…

There was a certain fairness to that, wasn't there?

* * *

The senshi let tears slide down their cheeks as they watched Mamorou cradle their leader's body. 

They had followed her, too late to save her, but in time to see a youma dropping her, and hissing almost as if it were upset. The creature had crouched over the fallen body, but they had chased it away before it could finish whatever it was doing.

Mamorou sobbed into Usagi's chest.

"I'm sorry…so sorry…Usako, why did you have to leave me?" He could barely speak as he clung to her. The senshi were in a similar state of grief and shock, shaking through their cries.

"Hey…Mamo-chan…you're crushing me…"

They opened their eyes, and through their blurry vision, found Usagi blinking dazedly at them.

"Usako! You're alive!" Mamorou hugged her close, and she pried his fingers off gently.

"Not that I don't mind, but that's a bit too much, Mamo-chan." She was suddenly overcome as the senshi pounced on her, hugging her fiercely.

"Don't you ever do that again, Usagi-chan!" Rei reprimanded her.

Usagi shook her head, but then her gaze wandered away. They followed it, and found her looking at the youma, squatting by a dumpster.

Mako rose, and her face began to turn red. "I'll kill you, you piece of garbage! You tried to kill her!"

She stopped as Usagi grabbed onto her wrist. "No, Mako-chan. I have to talk to her."

The shock the senshi and Mamorou received at these words were great enough so that they didn't move when Usagi walked over to the youma. She bent down and stared into the lidless eyes.

_"Bless me Father, for I have sinned…"_

She blinked back the memory, and looked into the youma's eyes. "Do you truly wish to be forgiven?"

There was a moment, then a small nod from it.

"Then I shall do so." A crescent moon flared on her forehead, briefly at first, but then gaining power. In a moment, Princess Serenity held out a hand to the youma, who took it.

Both felt something hard and lumpy in the joined appendages, and when they separated, a shining jewel floated in the air.

Princess Serenity grasped the ginzouishou, and motioned to the youma to kneel, and it did so. She held the ginzouishou over its head, and a small, gold drop fell from it.

It hit the youma's head, and in a moment, a woman with blonde hair and green eyes was trembling from her spot.

"Thank you…" she wheezed, and Serenity nodded. She held out her other hand, and from it appeared a small glass vial, with the golden liquid bubbling inside.

"You will go the lake, and there you will find a small child-like youma, with fangs. Her name is Ileyana. Give her the vial; she will know what to do with it. Your brethren are saved."

"And my husband and sons?" The woman looked up at her hopefully. Serenity winked.

"They will come back to you. Not soon, but after a great change. I will call you all forth." The woman smiled joyfully as she took the vial, and curtsying briefly, she ran off.

Serenity powered down, and turned to face her friends as Usagi once more.

"What was that?" Ami asked in amazement. Usagi tapped her chin thoughtfully.

"I don't suppose this was supposed to happen, so you needn't know, Ami-chan. Please, remember this is for your own good. I'll give you your memories back soon."

There was a bright flash of light, and when it receded, the senshi and Mamorou lay on the ground. Usagi sighed.

"Now I have to carry them back…"

* * *

Neo-Queen Serenity huffed and pounded once more on her living room door. "Let me in! I want to come in!" 

"You have other living rooms! Go away!" Mars' voice responded.

The Neo-Queen grit her teeth. King Endymion had returned from a long trip, and she hadn't seen him yet. Currently, he, the senshi and Chibiusa were locked into this room. She was sure they were plotting against her.

"I left my glasses in here!"

There was a pause, before Venus giggled. "You had better be talking about reading glasses, your majesty! Mars informed us of your late night meeting with that champagne!"

Serenity blushed. "Ah, damn you, I just want to see!"

"There are children in here!" Ami's voice scolded her. Serenity leaned against the door and pouted. Almost three thousand years and Ami still had to remind her to be proper.

She suddenly fell backwards as the door opened, and she gazed in Chibiusa's smiling face.

"Hi Mama! You can come in now!"

"Gee, thanks…" Serenity brushed herself off and stood, afterwards making no more moves.

"SURPRISE! HAPPY THREE THOUSANDTH BIRTHDAY USAGI-CHAN!"

She made a small "Oh" as she saw he friends standing together. The room was covered in presents; mountains and mountains of them, as well as yards of fabrics and clothing.

"Oh," was all she could say again. Then Endymion swept her into his arms, his face creased in a smile.

"Like it?"

She grinned, and a few crystalline tears came to her eyes. "I love it! Is this why you've been avoiding me so much?"

He nodded. "You would have literally read our minds if we were too close! Besides, I also had to make a few arrangements. The senshi will be running the kingdom for a week, as we shall be gone on our own vacation…"

She hugged him, nearly squeezing the life out of him. "Oh, thank you so much!" She rushed to her senshi, hugging them too. "I love you guys!"

"What, no love for me?"

Serenity turned, and was for the second time that day, speechless as a young woman with bright orange hair and vibrant hazel eyes grinned at her. A child with black hair clung to her ankles, and behind her a man with black hair and sky blue eyes smiled.

"Oh, Liana! Ileyana!" She rushed to hug them both, and Liana hugged her back/

"You did good, your Highness." She managed a curtsy with Ileyana still clutching her skirt.

"On, no!" The Neo-Queen cried. "I am the one who should curtsy to you!" And she did so. "You saved me, Liana. It was not the other way around."

Liana blushed to the roots of her hair, and pushed her child forward. "Ileyana remembers you well, although she is deathly shy now."

Serenity s smile warmed the whole room. "Hello, my little angel…" She let out a laugh as Ileyana pounced into her lap.

"Thank you for brining Mommy and Daddy back! I'm real happy now!" the child crowed, bouncing brightly.

Serenity tickled her under her chin. "I bet you are!" She turned back to the senshi, who were grinning widely.

"You've remembered since how long?"

Jupiter shrugged. "Ten, maybe fifteen days. We struggled with it at first, knowing why you were so unhappy and wanting to tell you it was ok, but we kept our secret. You yourself were only aware of it a few weeks ago, I suppose. We launched a massive search for these two…are you happy now?"

The question was sincere, and as Neo-Queen Serenity gazed upon the faces of her friends and family, she found only one way to answer.

"As happy as I'll ever be."

Angels without wings may get them back, someday.

I hope all of you enjoyed this story at least half as much as I did, and a special thank you to all who reviewed in my first chapter, turning this one-shot into a beautiful four part.


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